My experience of love and religion

I didn't learn what pure, unconditional love was until my late 20s. I grew up with loving parents. However, our relationship was guided by religion.

I could only be accepted if I followed strict rules and principles, and lived in fear of telling the truth and being myself. I learnt that if I lied about how I really felt, I could be accepted and loved. Lies were unintentionally rewarded and became second nature to me.

The problem is, if you have never been loved without conditions, how do you know how to love others unconditionally?

You start to pick up black and white thinking patterns, and they taint your own relationships. I was an all-or-nothing kind of person. Due to my inability to accept other people's failings or see my own, I ended up with two "failed" marriages. I saw them as failures, but in reality, I have learnt a great deal from them.

When I had a child of my own, people would ask me, "would you let your child die if he needed a blood transfusion?". I didn't even have to think about me response, "no, my child comes first before anything!"

With my children, I learnt unconditional love for the first time.

I am very fortunate now, my parents have also left religion behind. When I finally gained the courage to be myself and tell the truth, they supported me 100%. Unconditional love, it's a wonderful feeling!